Hasta La Bamba!

Well we've come to the end of 30 Dates in 30 Days and I'm already waxing nostalgic. Pats on the back to everyone who voted for Jumaane. Although Essence hooked me up with several hot dudes, he was the only one that clicked. This has been a wonderful experience and I'll miss everyone involved, I hope to take away something useful as well.

 

What have I really learned from this entire dating experience? Firstly, look around you... there are more eligible black men out there than you would suspect. Turns out that Jumaane frequents some of the same spots I do and we've never bumped into one another. And I have to wonder if we had, would we have exchanged any words? Probably not. But somehow fate intervened and here we both are, three (recorded) dates later on 30 Dates in 30 Days.

 

Next, I learned how to recognize the deal breakers, sometimes these things are quite apparent even on the first date. To quote Maya Angelou, "If someone tells you who they are, believe them." So if a guy tells you he's all about his career then why doubt that? It's your choice if you continue down a path when you've already been told you're not number one. Someone on Talk About The Show posted awhile back that sometimes us women lower our standards for what's acceptable in a relationship... there's a lot of truth in that. There's no such thing as a perfect man, but just know what you're willing to put up with and why.

 

And finally, I've fine tuned my man-o-meter. Sometimes it's really difficult for me to read men... is he into me? Is he listening? Is he playing for my team? From re-watching the videos of me dating, I figured out how to be more in tuned to body language and to really hear what someone is saying to me beyond words. Dating shouldn't be rocket science, but often a bit of alchemy is necessary.

 

Thanks to everyone for watching and voting, this has been so much fun! All of the kind words were an amazing boost to my ego as well. Can't nobody tell me nothin'! It's gonna take awhile for my head to shrink. Special thanks to all the regulars, the Michelle fan base, the man who posts and never sleeps, my sista girls from 30 dates and everybody else I thanked before and the people I didn't thank before but meant to!

HRH Michelle

 

P.S. - HRH stands for Her Royal Highness .... cause I'm a Queen!

Soul Glo

Good Morning!

 

That date looked a lot better than I imagined it would. Now that I look back, poor Gideon never really had a chance because someone else was on my mind. Perhaps he sensed that, (he said he watched my previous date) but he was still a good sport about the whole thing. I'm sure there's a girl out there for him; it's just not me... I definitely wasn't giving off the "I'm completely into you and into this moment vibe." Probably the whole "wasting your time" conversation was a dead giveaway. But he's an ambitious dude, with good looks and an enterprising head on his shoulders; he'll be snagged in no time.

 

I've really learned a lot from this entire experience. Firstly, I learned how to relax during a date and to be real with myself and the other person. Sometimes it's going to happen, but most of the time it won't. And that's okay. Secondly I learned to trust my instincts, I believe that we all have these primal senses that tell us the truth and it's up to us to follow that truth. Thirdly, how to take criticism, it's tough! And lastly, you've got to attract bees with honey; men are visual creatures, so making the effort to get glam for a date (or just in general) is important. Unfortunately I won't have glam squad Roxanna to do my makeup, Nedjetti to create hair art, Dorcia to style my clothing and accessories, and Nana for her hilarious advice, but I've picked up some wonderful tips that I can continue to use forever!

 

A big shout out to everyone at Essence, truly the entire magazine staff was involved in making it happen. By the way, do you have to submit a headshot along with your resume to work there? Everyone is so attractive it's ridiculous! The production/video/edit/crew/writers were amazing and had my back the entire time. Special thanks to insomniac Jen for making me look good on camera, Amy for making sure I didn't do anything stupid on camera, Donnie for giving me the most contact with a male I've had in quite some time, Z for a great magazine write up (I'm an Essence girl!!), Vanessa for that first interview, Sandra for that first Polaroid, kickball teammate Cori, smarty girl Lynya, party girl Naz, crewmates Ari, Josh, Hans, Jonathan, Max, Michelle, Brad, my favorite Russian Sam, Jocelyn from the elevator, and mastermind Angela for this amazing concept. There are so many more people to thank, but I haven't had my coffee yet so bear with me. I'll see you all again (at the party?), thank you so much for a truly incredible experience that I will remember for the rest of my life.

 

And I can't sign off without thanking my number one fans, starting with my mom and ending with the countless people who tuned in to watch, bought the magazine, sent me emails (which I'm still responding to) and posted hilarious, thoughtful, interesting, helpful and sometimes just off the wall comments on the boards and blogs. Mwah!

 

HRH Michelle

 

P.S. - I'll be passing the torch today to an incredible young lady by the name of Lindsey, she is so funny, intelligent, and no-nonsense. I can't wait to watch her dates!

 

P.P.S - Before I forget, there is one final vote left for me. This one's a no-brainer… most of you have already said who you'll be voting for that 6th and final date. But here's a recap, Evan said he didn't want to date me again, Chris wouldn't mind dating me again, but I'm not that into him. I've gone out on two dates with Jumaane and he's expressed a great interest in me. And Gideon wants to do business. You know what to do, hook me up peoples!

End of the Date

Hey ya'll, I got back from my date a few hours ago with Gideon, and it was okay. If you want an indication of how the date went... I just got off the phone with Jumaane.   

 

Gideon seems like a nice dude, but I got the feeling he was more interested in how the show's stylist (Dorcia Kelley) hooked me up with a fly dress and business than in actually dating me. He was giving off a few physical vibes, light touches on the arm and compliments on my hot bod. But I wasn't getting the sense that he was into me romantically. Everything seemed like a pitch for something related to business. Even at the end of the date, instead of wanting to exchange numbers, he gave me the number of a woman who he thought I could speak to about a business venture. Geez!

 

Plus, he annoyingly wouldn't take off that darn neck scarf. I hate to be picky, but hello, we're inside! Overall, it was just a so-so date. I really did try to engage in some conversation... it definitely wasn't my worst date, but it was nowhere near the best. The food was good at Tillman's and it's got a cute jazzy vibe, I would definitely hang out there again... with someone else.

 

Looking forward to seeing how it all plays out on video in the morning!

 

HRH Michelle

It Ain't Over Yet!

Can I just say that the people on the "Talk About The Show" board are off the hook? It is soooo entertaining to catch up with all of those posts. You are freakin' hilarious!! Wooosahhhh! Big up to all of the regulars and the international contingent. And of course Team Michelle... for every negative comment there are 20 positive ones to cancel it out. You all know how to make a girl feel special!

 

My last new date is tonight and it doesn't seem like the decision on who to vote for should be very difficult. Many of you have already declared who you'll be voting for anyways, so hopefully I won't be too surprised this afternoon when the bachelor is revealed. Also, I do prefer dates that include food, so please keep that in mind! (A girl gets hungry.)

 

Can't wait to get back in the glam suite! Getting my hair and makeup done by professionals is quite addictive. I rocked Friday's hairstyle all weekend long by carefully wrapping at night and sleeping on the edge of my pillow! I can't wait to see what Nedjetti comes up with today. And I've picked up so many tips from Roxanna, I never used to wear eye makeup because of my glasses... but now I know exactly what to do to make them pop. Ah, the celebrity treatment!

 

HRH Michelle

Surprise Surprise!

The cat's out of the bag, as some of you guessed from my last post, the fourth date was with...... Jumaane! Essence shocked my socks off when I turned the corner and instead of Markell, I saw Jumaane instead. Not exactly sure what happened, and do I really care? I was pretty relieved to see a familiar face. Was feeling a bit down making that car ride alone. Boy oh boy I should NOT have put other dude on blast like that, because methinks it backfired. But it's all good in the end.

 

Jumaane and I nibbled on tasty sweet treats and generally got to know one another just a little bit better. Who knew our second date would happen so soon? We had a genuinely good time and the date continued after the cameras stopped rolling! Since we were already in the swank Meatpacking District (no pun intended) Jumaane thought we should find a nice restaurant to dine in since we were already dressed to impress.

 

Although I love, love, love the crew, it was a relief to leave them behind... which is why Jumaane dubbed it our "real first date."  We felt at ease with the dim lighting, outstanding food, and hip crowd decked out in all their designer glory. Quite possibly the best date I've ever had, we sipped wine and shared a succulent dessert at the end. Jumaane would normally want to go clubbing to show off those superior dance skills, but on Saturday mornings he tutors school children with math. (Sigh, isn't that so sweet!!!) Makes a girl wanna just exhale!

 

WooHoo! I'll have the weekend to rest in anticipation for Monday night's date. Talk about the payoff!

 

HRH Michelle

 

P.S. - If Essence ever does an outtake reel, they have some good stuff with me getting silly in the car. Poor Sam (the driver) has seen it all!!!

Nice and Smooth

OMG! Tonight's date was off the hook! Somehow, the viewers voted for Markell, but he wasn't the one I ended up with. I don't want to ruin the surprise, but there was a surprise! We met at the Chocolate Bar and nibbled on tasty delectable treats and sipped red wine. I'm still in the dark about what happened and why, but who cares? I had a great time and so did my date, in fact we'll probably be seeing each other again, whether the cameras are rolling or not. I'm still reeling from my chocolate high, so I better stop myself before I reveal too much. Very excited to see how it all played out on camera. Nedjetti hooked up my hair yet again! And Ms. Roxanna made sure my face was kickin'. Dorcia hooked me up with a butterfly dress even Mariah would be envious of and I was struttin my stuff even though I rode in the car alone.  I may have had "a moment" as my friend Nikki would say, but it all worked out in the end. Can't wait to tell you more in the morning!!!!!

 

HRH Michelle

Waiting For Tonight

The video from last night's date with Jumaane was so cool. First of all, I looked great! Roxanna said she was going for the drama with my eye makeup and she delivered! The dress, the hair, the setting, everything looked FAB! I'm 100% pleased and I haven't one single complaint. I smile and laugh just looking at the video again! Men, take notes from Jumaane. What a cool dude! He's got a great personality and there was never a struggle for good conversation. And we didn't even have to talk all the time, there were comfortable quiet moments as well.

 

For tonight....

 

Sorry people, but I'm just gonna call it right now... Mr. "a perm doesn't hurt" Markell can take it where? Back there!

 

Everyone has their preferences and I can respect that, not everybody is into wearing their hair like mine and that's okay. But the smart thing, in my opinion, is to go ahead and keep that ish to yourself! A big thank you to all of my defenders on the Talk About The Show board. There is just no excuse for ignorance, it's 2007 people! Geez!

 

HRH Michelle

One, Two, Three

I never cared much for astrology... figured it for a bunch of bunk. Then a number of friends and people posting messages suggested that compatibility between Aquarians and Geminis were written in the stars. And perhaps they had a point! Jumaane and I hit it off pretty well tonight. Everything from the environmentally friendly soy candle gift (including a personally written card), to the impeccable manners (can we say good home training?) was on point! In fact, Jumaane let me know he was interested in a second date before we even sat down at our table.

 

Even the restaurant owner was in on the astrology kick! We dined at Lola's Restaurant and were personally greeted and loved on by Ms. Lola herself and her teddy bear hubby. With a bit of digging she determined that us two couples had matching signs with birthdates just days apart! (Ooooh snap!)

 

Aside from the starry skies, we actually have a lot in common and share similar views on the few important issues we touched upon. We got a little comfortable, opened up, and had a good time. Date number three set the bar high, can it possibly be topped?

 

HRH Michelle

Check Yourself

Sorry for the delay ya'll, the plumber just left after fixing my bathroom sink.... How did you like this episode?

 

I've watched the video and caught up with the comments and okay, you've got a point! Perhaps I was a bit snarky during the date. Sometimes I do turn into a bit of a smart alec. Oh I wish you guys could see more and you would really know why. There wasn't much going on between us and honestly, I felt kinda bad about it. This date was a bit of a snoozer I think. In real life Chris would probably never look twice at me and vice versa. Sometimes the eye candy can cause cavities...  He seems like a decent guy who is just trying to get his hustle on and move to the next level; the whole nude modeling thing kinda threw me for a curve. I'm definitely working on turning that frown upside down and making sure I turn up the Michellosity for date number three. Usually I'm pretty high energy and tend to wear my emotions on my face, this one was almost excruciating to watch.

 

Thanks a bunch for the comments and advice; you're all helping me become a better dater. This time I'm going to think about questions to ask and conversation topics before hand. I'm really looking forward to date number three, and I just took a look at my choices for tonight. My friends tell me that Geminis and Aquarians go well together (hint, hint). Send me more feedback I really appreciate it!

 

HRH Michelle

First Impressions

[ Thanks for the words Pattilicious, I've re-posted what I wrote last night. You're right, I don't wanna cheat you of what I thought before actually seeing the video, so here it is. ]

So I've just returned from my date with Chris and let me begin with the positives. I was wearing a sexy silk dress in my favorite color, purple. I had a brand new hairstyle, flawless makeup, plus the food at the Shark Bar was kickin'. They make a mean tequila martini over there, and the catfish was awesome. I wish I could tell you I had an enjoyable time with Chris, but right off the bat I knew something was up when he told me that his career is number one in his life. His modeling and acting gigs come first. Period.

Now ya'll told me to look for the signs and I think that's a major one. Later during dinner, he mentioned how we could "USE" the show to our mutual advantage — business wise. It was disappointing for me because it seemed like the experience was more about what it could do for him rather than trying to make a connection with me. (sound familiar?) He seemed to loosen up a bit later on, but by that time I was already thinking about whether or not I'd get home in time to see Letterman. (I did)

Dating ain't easy! Yes, we had a few laughs, I tried to be engaging but we didn't have much in common other than an appreciation for sci-fi, cartoons, and the fact that we both have cats... yeah.

I don't have anything against him; it's good to have goals. But for me, the IT factor was missing. Not gonna let this get me down; although I must admit, I was feeling like somebody popped my balloon. So in conclusion, tomorrow is another day, and another date. Choose wisely!

HRH Michelle